74592

Joke of the Day

"I've decided to retire on Monday & live off my savings. Don't know what I will do on Tuesday though?"

"Who ever taught Storm Troopers how to shoot also must have taught white golfers how to high five each other."

"People with stick figure families on their car: Oh look how cute we are! Criminals: I'll need 3 rolls of duct tape."

"Someone just posted an article on Facebook and said ""file this under sad."" WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE FILING EVERYTHING"

"Apparently 1 in 8 of us live next door to a pedophile. I certainly don't, I live next door to a gorgeous 9 year old with a cracking ass."

"What do you call a postmodernist ravioli? An intellectual impasta'."

"Worst Possible Baby Name: Adolf Judas Kardashian."

"You Must Be From Ireland Because everytime I see you my penis be Dublin."

"You found poison in his stomach? But he HATED poison!"

"""Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.."" Him: Do you have to say that everytime we visit my mom?"