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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I switched positions to make our night more exciting last night... so she sat on the couch and I washed dishes."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his Girlfriend? Wiped his ass"

"If The Bachelor was realistic they'd ask each other where they want to go out to eat and then never make a decision."

"What kind of disease do you get from birds? Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable."

"My wife asked me for a double-entendre.... .....so I gave her one."

"I just sent a screen shot of my drunken tweets to my friends & they are still asking if I can come pick them up"

"Men are like curling irons. They're always hot and they're always in your hair."

"I just ate a watch... ... It was time consuming. I'm thinking of going for seconds."

"Your Mom is so fat... That when she sat on a Iphone it turned into a Ipad."

"What do you call a tree that protects Gotham City? Spruce Wayne"