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Joke of the Day

"If The Bachelor was realistic they'd ask each other where they want to go out to eat and then never make a decision."

"I'm getting ready to go down to support the woman's march. Just waiting on my wife to pack me a sandwich."

"Being cross-eyed has made it difficult for me to stay in monogamous relationships Sometimes when I'm seeing a girl I can't help but also see someone else on the side"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea. I wouldn't pay $300 to let a lentil on my face."

"how did the Imam order his dessert? Allah mode"

"Winners don't do drugs... It chaffs the willy."

"How are skinny jeans like a small mansion? They have no ball room."

"BREAKING: President Obama shows solidarity with victims in war-torn countries by posting another selfie with celebrities."

"I accidentally typed ""abeer"" instead of ""a beer"" and iPhone transformed it to ""cobbler""--Anyway, drunk on cobbler."

"Have you seen my cat? I saw a poster today, somebody was asking ""Have you seen my cat?"" So I called the number and said that I hadn't . I like to help where I can."