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Joke of the Day

"What kind of disease do you get from birds? Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable."

Next Joke
 
"Just tried to read an article that wasn't a list. Bunch of words, no GIFs, and it required me to think?? 0/10 would not recommend."
"WALGREENS PARADOX: No matter which Walgreens you go to, they will have built one closer to you before you can get there."
"I want to be an organ donner My priest said to give my heart to Jesus."
"I just finished reading Old Man by the Sea I really don't understand what all the fuss is about."
"What's a pedophile's favorite writer? dickinson. ^^^sorry."
"My dad said if he practiced yoga long enough he could pick up a pencil with his toes. He then proudly mentioned he would be writing footnotes."
"POLISH JOKE Why do Polish people keep empty bottles in their refrigerator? For people that don't want anything to drink"
"Hipsters favorite ocean is Frank Ocean."
"Judge: how do you plead? Me: [looks at lawyer] Lawyer: [mouths ""not guilty""] Me: hot milky L: *bangs head on desk* FFS just lock him up"