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Joke of the Day

"What kind of disease do you get from birds? Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable."

"The best part about stabbing Queen Latifah is watching all the BBQ pulled pork shoot out of her like silly string."

"What's the capital of Greece? Athens"

"Another World's Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious."

"What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead? A Lou-ouija board."

"The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid $20 to have a garbanzo bean on my chest."

"Marry someone shorter than you so you can hide all the good snacks on the top shelf."

"I just rolled a joint... Now my ankle hurts Edit: You did not expect that!"

"So I had some Oasis soup today... Got a roll with it!"