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Joke of the Day

"I went into a store with my kid and came out with a different one by accident. This one is a keeper. He says he does brake work. Well see."

"Love is patient. Love is kind. Love has never been in a relationship apparently."

"Have you seen the new movie Constipation? It hasn't come out yet..."

"ROOMMATE: Big date later? ME: [combs hair] Yes R: Where? M: [fixes tie] The woods R: Is it with a bear again? M: [dabs honey behind ears] No"

"So, a baby seal walks into a club."

"You know why yoga is so unpopular for men? Well women don't mind muff diving but dudes don't like to suck their own dicks."

"Why don't Korean captains wear hats? Because they don't know what to do with cap sizes."

"How do most bakers get their start in the industry? They knead dough"

"Someone was told me that they were an actor. I told them I wanted coconut milk in my chai latte."

"Dang girl are you the police on Grand Theft Auto, because 2 minutes after I leave you forget all about me & move on to someone else."