163872

Joke of the Day

"How do you compliment a pickle rapper's verse? That was dill!"

"Twitter - to help future generations discover if there's ever been any mental illness in the family."

"The problem with ""We, the People"" is mostly you, the people."

"My parents said they liked my DNA strand model. I said, ""Thanks. It's a nice pair of genes."""

"Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the shit out of each other for a $10 crockpot."

"I don't use the car horn much but I will frown harshly at bad drivers and I'm pretty sure it fucks up their day."

"A little wine does the body good, a lot of wine does the body better!"

"Those of you who believe everything you read on the internet probably also believe there's hot local singles in your area."

"For a tennis player, what is the perfect crime? Racketeering"

"The owner of the Regal movie theatre chain has died. Services will be held Tuesday at 1:00, 4:15, 7:30 & 10:30."