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Joke of the Day

"Twitter - to help future generations discover if there's ever been any mental illness in the family."

"Are you in a serious relationship with a rock? If you are, don't take it for granite"

"A pirate walks into a bar... And sits down orders a drink without anybody making a pun about his nuts."

"A conference call is the best way for a dozen people to say ""bye"" 300 times."

"Doctor, doctor, there's a hairless military strategist on my head! Ah yes, looks like male Patton baldness."

"I like to hangout with people that make me forget to look at my phone."

"My wd-40 can rusted. It was irony."

"I Was Accused Of Being A Paedophile Today... Now who wants a sweet?"

"What's grey and comes in quarts? Elephants"

"TIFU by eating a U-Boat. Whoops, wrong sub."