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Joke of the Day

"Twitter - to help future generations discover if there's ever been any mental illness in the family."

"Do you think George Clooney has an iTunes playlist called Clooney Tunes?"

"""I feel like I got off on the wrong foot."" - Star of a foot fetish flick criticizing his performance"

"All of my passwords are the names of various ""Friends"" characters. Except for Ross. I've never used Ross. Not after what he did to Rachel."

"Yo momma joke Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number."""

"A mobster walks into a bar, but then he turns around and walks out. Because he realized it was a set-up."

"The other day i walked in on my grandmother sucking my grandfather's dick. I just find it weird why it wasn't cremated with the rest of him."

"I fucked myself last night. I wanted to get first-hand experience."

"What's red and smells like blue paint?... Red paint."

"If billionaires were allowed to influence the results on American Idol instead of American elections, there would be rioting in the streets."