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Joke of the Day

"I don't use the car horn much but I will frown harshly at bad drivers and I'm pretty sure it fucks up their day."

"Italian moms vs. Jewish moms At dinner the Italian mom says to their children, ""eat..eat.. or I'll kill you!"" Where as the Jewish mom says, ""eat... eat.. or I'll kill myself!"""

"Why do they call the hardest group, ""The Group of Death""? Four rosters of boners & you'd want to die too."

"Mary Rose sat on a pin Mary rose"

"Why did the shark swim in circles? He had a nosebleed."

"Boob. B (top view) oo (front view) b (side view)"

"My dad installed new LED bulbs in his home. I started seeing him in a new light after that."

"I thought the Undertale genocide run was comic, But than I met sans. ^I'm ^so ^sorry."

"Everyone's excited for the new Minecraft movie. It's sure to be a real blockbuster"

"Risky behavior in my 20s involved sex drugs & alcohol. At 30, ""risky"" is eating spicy food after 9pm and not lifting w/ my knees."