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Joke of the Day

"Why was six afraid of seven? Generations of institutionalized bigotry."

"My boss wanted revenge. Boss wanted revenge on me for sleeping with his wife. So he stole my phone to get my girlfriend's mobile number. Poor bastard's been sending dick pics to his daughter all day."

"ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT TAYLOR SWIFT: Aw here are some band aids ME: THOSE DON'T FIX BULLETHOLES TS: *picks up guitar* ...brb ME: I'M STILL DYING"

"Green day is playing on the only two alternative rock stations in my neighborhood... There is no alternative."

"Why did the junkie walk into the pet store? To buy some quack croakaine!"

"What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a colored wash? Whites occasionally get inside a colored wash."

"Just one time I wanna see The Bachelor get a cold sore"

"Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener."

"I've stood up for black people plenty of times... Not worth getting shot over a seat on the subway."

"What did the recent Sunni convert says about ISIS? They really scared the Shiite outa me!"