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Joke of the Day
"Exercise machines are just torture devices with better marketing campaigns."
Next Joke
"What did the fat math teacher say after a large Thanksgiving dinner? (-1)/8! Edit: I clearly don't know how to math."
"DATING TIP: Play hard to get. Train to be an astronaut. Fly into space and leave Earth behind. Then text your crush and be like ""what's up?"""
"My mouth smells like a cave someone shoved a bunch of dead animals into, because that's what it is."
"Climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world."
"who was the spiciest man to hit a homer in baseball sammy salsa"
"How to Pass So apparently if someone commits suicide while we take a exam or final in school, everyone in that room or place will get 100%. I literally need the blood of a virgin to pass these exams."
"They're dying the Chicago River blue in honor of the Cubs win... It's the first time it will be blue since the French got there."
"Falling asleep at work didn't get me in trouble. Falling asleep at work and snoring got me in trouble."
"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt"