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Joke of the Day

"Climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world."

"Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? A: They don't know the route."

"What's the best way for a lady to read 50 Shades of Grey? To flick through it as fast as possible."

"Porn Hub has pledged to plant a new tree for every hundred videos viewed on its site. The amount of tissue paper I get through, I'm still not sure that's environmentally sustainable."

"Have you ever smelled mothballs? How did you get your nose between its legs?"

"*lost in China* Friend: ask that man where we are Me [pretending to speak Chinese with a local]: xian chan sen F: well? Me: we're in China"

"I went to go high five a shirt in my closet... ...but I left it hanging."

"Be sure you are standing on your left foot and only your left foot at midnight tonight... ...so that you start the new year off on the right foot!"

"In terms of spelling difficulty, I think the word ""average"" is between easy and hard."

"Cashier: Hello Me: Is it me your looking for... I can see it in your eyes.. Cashier:... Me: Sorry, this is my first rap battle."