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Joke of the Day

"They're dying the Chicago River blue in honor of the Cubs win... It's the first time it will be blue since the French got there."

"Why did the Chicken cross the road? because 7 8 9 hahahaha"

"Can't figure out why my dog licks his balls. They taste fcuking disgusting."

"do u know the muffin man the muffin man the muffin man do u know the muffin man that lives on d-d-d-d-d-d DROP THE BASS *club goes nuts*"

"Why can't Caitlyn Jenner's kids ever find her? Because she's Transparent."

"Add inches to your penis with this one simple trick! Sharpen the edge of your ruler before you measure."

"Why did the vampire pull out? He needed permission to come inside."

"Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks."

"Total shocker that you actually have to pay for things when you get to the register. Go ahead and dump your purse on the counter. We'll wait"

"Heard about the magic tractor? It went down a road and turned into a field."