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Joke of the Day

"I planted a whole garden full of bird seed this year and not one bird came up. I quit."

"what's the best part of living in Sweden? Well, the flags a big plus. edit: FUCK meant Switzerland"

"If you're going to ride my ass at least pull my hair and make me scream!"

"50 Cent has filed for bankruptcy, he will now be known as 50. Story is he doesn't have a cent to his name. *drops the mic walks away*"

"A guy walks into a bar Ouch"

"What do all the sexy ladies of r/gonewild have in common? Daddy issues"

"[staff meeting] PRINCIPAL: ok guys, we built a room to hold our P.E. class. what should we name it? [Jim slowly raises his hand]"

"A guy once lied about being a broom on the internet... I guess OP was a bundle of sticks."

"A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks- ""why the long face?"".... The horse then replies: ""I found out I have AIDS."""

"I had this one night stand, and the next morning I felt so guilty I bought another one for the other side of the bed."