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Joke of the Day

"Wife: We get 1 ""cheat meal"" on our diet. I want tacos. What do you want? Me: The waitress. ...And that's why I'm not getting laid tonight."

"It's kinda bullshit that carpenter ants can't even build IKEA furniture."

"Puns aren't funny. #They're punny."

"Wanna hear a construction joke? Im working on it."

"Magical tractor I was watching a magical tractor driving down the road, when all of a sudden out of nowhere it turned into a field!"

"How many gay guys does it take to flip a car? We'll find out when the cubs win the World Series"

"I have a joke about fat people with big butts... Butt weight... That's not fanny."

"what idiot named it Mail Order Bride instead of Male Order Bride?"

"I always have too much month left at the end of my money."

"What do you call a Norwegian prostitute? A fjord escort."