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Joke of the Day
"How many gay guys does it take to flip a car? We'll find out when the cubs win the World Series"
Next Joke
"[on a date with a caribou as a favor to my sister] me: so...did you like the movie? caribou: *knocks over candy display & tramples 3 kids*"
"Target audience A nine year old kid disappeared after using a cream that makes you look 10 years younger."
"i'm a homewrecker in the sense that i got sick out both ends in the attic and it soaked through the ceiling in 3 different rooms"
"I don't have a girlfriend.. I just know someone that would be really mad if they ever heard me say that"
"How are having sex in a canoe and American beer alike? They're both fuckin' close to water"
"school is like a boner School is like a boner its long and hard, unless your Asian"
"LIFE HACK: If a public restroom is locked, violently yank the door handle over and over like a gorilla and never accept that it's occupied"
"I came home from work and finally caught the filthy bitch red handed. So I asked my daughter to please wash her hands if she masturbates on her period."
"Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name But Imma call you ""Hal"" for short, 'k, Chief?"