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Joke of the Day
"Do you know why Caesar put lettuce in his salad? Oh, just cos."
Next Joke
"How do you shut up a deaf person? Punch them in the hands."
"Why didn't Microsoft release Windows 9? Because Windows 7 ate 9."
"Sometimes I squat on the floor, put my arms around my knees and lean forward... because that's how I roll."
"I like to watch fat people walk while a tuba plays in my mind."
"My roommate confronted me yesterday... Do you think I'm a nosy bastard? No! Of course not! Then why did you write that in your diary!"
"I was proud and surprised when my wife gave birth... But deep down, I knew she had it in her."
"Not sure if you're a pretentious douchebag? Do you buy honey in a plastic flip-top bear? No? Pretentious douchebag."
"Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day Give a woman a fish and you're 'that weird fish guy.'"
"We don't have wifi in Tennessee. I just pray my tweets into my phone and let Him (#Christ) do the rest."