100282
Joke of the Day
"Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day Give a woman a fish and you're 'that weird fish guy.'"
Next Joke
"When I see a ""How am I driving?"" sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence"
"So pi and the imaginary number are talking... and i says to pi, ""be rational."" Pi responds, ""u shut ur bitch-ass whore mouth or im gon shank u mofo"" and i says, ""Oh shit just got real."""
"That lazy moment when you start reading someone else's status and then realise its too long so you just like it."
"What happened to the witch with an upside down nose? Every time she sneezed her hat blew off."
"What do you call a sad suicidal bird? A Robin Williams."
"My ex was orphan as a child I should have taken that as the first sign. If her parents didn't want her, why would I."
"[stunned, eyes lock, a smile exchanged, and I knew it was kismet] *hands cash to lady Ma'am my baby isn't for sale. I SAID I'LL TAKE TWO!!"
"One time I was holding this little girl's hand walking through the woods at night. She said: ""I'm scared!"" I said:"" Well then how do you think I feel? I gotta walk back alone!"""
"How big would jupiter be if it was as close to the earth as the moon..... Pretty damn big (courtesy of my daughter)"