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Joke of the Day

"upon my death: 1. tell my kids I loved them 2. give my daughter my jewelry 3. leave french fries in my coffin, just in case"

"A Clinton is running for POTUS, a Jurassic Park movie dominated the summer box office, and they found a knife on OJ's property. It's 1994."

"I can spell relief with one letter P!"

"Idea: a neck tattoo that depicts a man having an unsuccessful job interview because of his neck tattoo"

"My great great grandfather died in a Nazi death camp. He fell off of a guard tower."

"I just realized something. Jesus backwards is susej =sausage. Jesus is a sausage. Is this a conspiracy? I really need to know"

"Why did the baker have brown fingers? Because he kneaded a shit."

"Women should not have children after 35. Really ... 35 children are enough."

"Hey, Facebook. Dead people can't read your RIP shoutouts, because death."

"Four years ago I asked a girl out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."