163350

Joke of the Day

"A lier, crook, and murderer walks into a bar.... The bartender asks, ""What'll it be, Mrs. Clinton?"""

"If she's ""one-in-million"" there's 1,344 of her in China."

"the chinese food place by my work is dangerously close to being added to my 'never again' list after finding a human tooth in my food"

"At least we know the people who killed the 5 cops in Texas weren't terrorists Because Muslims can't kill pigs. I'm going to hell"

"God Said to Phil ""Come Forth and Receive Eternal Life."" Phil came fifth and received a toaster."

"The teacher asked Tom to make a sentence using ""frequent"". Tom: foxes frequent the nearby forest. The teacher asked: did you copy this from a dictionary? Tom: no. In the dictionary, it is wolves."

"If you broke up with your gf who works at a salad bar you can use the line ""lettuce romaine friends"" at a low cost of my student loans."

"Personal Trainer- So how have you been cutting your carbs? Me-Mostly with a bread knife or a pizza slicer"

"*rides in on giant turtle* Me:Sorry I'm late. Boss:You rode that to work? Me:No, went to the zoo. *phone rings* Me:That'll be the zoo."

"Q: Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon? A: He wanted to see stars during the day."