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Joke of the Day

"George Washington's bark was from the same tree as his bite."

"Why did the dog go to the vets? He was pawly. I'm sorry. I'll see myself out."

"To any ex-military that live on my street I apologize for whatever messages we may be sending, 2yo has discovered light switches"

"If a 4-year-old says, ""I'm scared there's a monster living under my bed"" Don't reply, ""Oh, that's where he's been hiding."" I know that now."

"Did you see the movie about the demolition team? It did a great job of breaking the fourth wall."

"How do you say hi Hello"

"Why do Mexicans always walk around like the own the place? Their dad built it, and their mom cleans it"

"We could completely eliminate car thefts by making every car alarm sound like Hillary Clinton's laugh."

"*walks up to little girl* ""Honey, is your dad in jail?"" ""No, why?"" ""Because if I was your dad, I'd be in jail."""

"What do radical feminists say when they are about to explode? **RAPE!!!**"