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Joke of the Day

"Why do Mexicans always walk around like the own the place? Their dad built it, and their mom cleans it"

"I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in."

"A guy called into work and says, ""Hey, boss! What's the difference between work and your daughter?"" ""I'm not coming into work this morning!"""

"FOUND: IPod Touch 4G, 32GB, white. Must be able to match the naked pics I found in the photos."

"This question is only for the fellas: You ever kick back in your man cave and think about what a strong feminist ally you are?"

"A group of prostitutes play WoW. I heard that they call themselves the whore'd."

"I wish I could play little league again. I'd be so much better now."

"""if you could be any animal what would you be"" a cat ""why a cat"" [imagines being a complete shithead for literally no reason] naps and stuff"

"What did Sushi A say to Sushi B WASA B!"

"What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? 30 pounds. (and then the female come-back): What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes!"