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Joke of the Day

"*walks up to little girl* ""Honey, is your dad in jail?"" ""No, why?"" ""Because if I was your dad, I'd be in jail."""

"My idiot friend wanted to get into porn. He heard that the camera adds ten pounds."

"Did you guys hear about the jews hurting dental health? Its those damn acidic jews!"

"Perhaps the most gut wrenching part of my day is the moment I look in my fast food bag to see if they remembered my straw"

"My husband is playing Super Mario Bros with our sons and one of them is having a MAJOR tantrum. Sadly, it's my husband."

"A man was dissatisfied with a Chad Kroeger album he bought off of the 95% rack... So he returned it and got his Nickelback"

"She would have gotten away... ...if she had also changed her name to Rachel Dolizzle."

"Major milestone today -- found my first grey pubic hair! But once I picked it out, the burger tasted pretty decent."

"Whats the worst part about sex with children? Cleaning the blood out of the clown costume when you are finished."

"What does a gentleman do after sex? He puts the diaper back on."