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Joke of the Day

"How can you spot the blind man at the nude beach? It ain't hard"

"Today I saw a poor, old lady fall. My first reaction was to laugh, but then I thought ""what if I was an ant, and she fell on top of me?"" then it didn't seem so funny anymore."

"What is green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels."

"My abs hurt today because last night I went to the gym and got punched in the stomach"

"Beggin'Strips: Stop pretending dogs don't know it's not bacon. They smell cocaine in a cooch across an airport; I'm sure they know NOT bacon"

"Did you know that there is a little lonely man inside automatic towel dispensers that gives you a towel because he's happy you waved to him?"

"My friend is so silly that he spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for the doorknob!"

"People Say It's Annoying When I Talk To Myself... Stop being so hard on yourself."

"Me and my husband Atilla got into an argument I told him ""hun, let's not fight""."

"Why won't Monica Lewinsky be voting for Hillary? Because the last Clinton presidency left a very bad taste in her mouth."