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Joke of the Day
"What is green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels."
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"What is the difference between SETI and Donald Trump? One has demonstrated the scarcity of intelligent life in the universe, and the other is a scientific study of extra terrestrials."
"That really wasn't nice of Dorothy to say ""I'll miss you most of all"" to Scarecrow with Lion & Tin Man standing right there."
"""Your word is their..."" ""Your word is their,"" said the spelling bee judge. The contestant, confused, asked for a sentence. ""They're looking for their dog over there,"" replied the judge."
"What's the best way to get a redditors attention?"
"I do this cool trick when you introduce yourself where I concentrate on literally anything else in the universe except your name."
"I changed my buddies auto correct, so when he types ""Got it"" it actually types ""Go tit"""
"I was at my local home improvement store yesterday And I was looking in the window section. An employee came over and asked if I needed any help, I responded ""No thanks, I'm just window shopping."""
"The teacher asked what comes after the number 69... The student replies, ""Mouthwash."""
"Why Seth MacFarlane's Oscars were mean spirited and misogynistic, coming up next after our review of the worst dressed women."