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Joke of the Day

"If I was in StarWars I would probably just be that guy that keeps turning his lightsaber on and off and on and off like a pen."

"If Jesus was a cat we'd have nine Easters."

"Q: What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger? A: Darn!"

"Why does the Avon lady walk funny? Because her lips stick"

"Reddit is like internet porn... I've seen the top scoring entries of all categories up to page 20."

"How are Roman Polanski and pimples similar? Both cum on your face when you're 13. How are Roman Polanski and body hair similar? Both cum on your ass when you're 13."

"*spits out mouthful of peacock feathers* I'm sorry, I thought these were for just anyone to eat. *gets escorted from zoo*"

"""Doc, my boyfriend & I don't wanna get pregnant. He hates condoms & I think the jelly isn't working."" ""What kind are you using?"" ""Grape"""

"Me: why do bad things happen to good people? God: *reveals image of me jerking off to April from Ninja Turtles* Me: oh God: *nods solemnly*"

"What did the deaf bug order at the bar? A Bee-Ear"