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Joke of the Day

"How are Roman Polanski and pimples similar? Both cum on your face when you're 13. How are Roman Polanski and body hair similar? Both cum on your ass when you're 13."

"Just bought a medical alert bracelet that says ""probably just shitfaced."""

"Roses are red... Violets are violet. I'm not original, I stole this from reddit."

"What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeno Business! (say with sass)"

"Bought a new exercise program Instructions said to stop if I felt any discomfort So I did"

"What do you get when you cross an octopus and a cow? A stern letter from the ethics committee and an immediate cessation of funding. *stolen from I Fucking Love Science"

"Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail? Because it needs bailing out."

"Okay kids, always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables"

"Wanna hear a pizza joke? Nah it's too cheesy!"

"I used to forget time with you. Now, I'll just forget you with time."