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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger? A: Darn!"

"Yo momma is so fat ... She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars."

"*erases 1 and writes 0 on the 'days without incident' chart at Earl's Discount Stilts and Ceiling Fans*"

"What do black people and a tornado have in common? It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood."

"Don't do suicide, kids! You'll kill yourself!"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into your mouth."

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can actually finish a race"

"If Sean Connery was in the bathroom and told someone what he was doing, it would sound like he was repeating himself. ""I'm shitting in here, pooping."""

"Hey smoke detectors, feel free to use that last bit of battery life to continue monitoring fires instead of getting all beepy."

"I know a thousand ways to kill a man, and pretty much all of them are with an XBOX controller."