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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the lesbian with no arms? She couldn't hold her licker."

"Turned on women's volleyball and within four minutes there was a wrist injury Don't worry I'll be fine"

"I saw Jimmy Carr at the train station the other day.. ..I guess it's because he doesn't like taxis"

"Are You a Gorilla Exhibit? Because I want to drop a baby in you."

"90% of the internet is people who don't know anything having their questions answered by people who don't know anything."

"(Me playing guitar) 3: Daddy what's this song called? Me: Going Nowhere. 3: I know that but what's this song called? Burned by a 3yo."

"What do you call Batman when he ditches church? Christian Bale"

"What's it like to go down on an ewok? It's alright, they're just a little chewy."

"How does an engineer screw a light-bulb? He holds the light-bulb over the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him."

"Roses are grey, Violets are grey I'm a dog."