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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the lesbian with no arms? She couldn't hold her licker."

"What do you call someone who stole home plate? A rapist."

"Cans I work in a can recycling factory. My job is to crush cans. I don't enjoy it. It's soda pressing."

"Is it a blow job or a blowjob? Fuck I hate writing thank you cards..."

"What do Congressional Republicans and ISIS in Afghanistan have in common?. Their first act since arriving was to go after the elderly."

"What are you people doing? making this crap up."

"*you see a bear approaching you* Quick play dead! *bears comes running up* Oh god! OH GOD! What's happening!? Wake up! WHO DID THIS TO YOU!?"

"I'm thinking of going on a diet. I'm going to become an egalitarian: I only eat eagles."

"Don't make fun of a fat girl with a lisp. I'm sure she's thick and tired of it."

"I went to the cannibal restaurant the other night and the waitress gave me the cold shoulder. It came with rice and a salad."