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Joke of the Day

"I went to the cannibal restaurant the other night and the waitress gave me the cold shoulder. It came with rice and a salad."

"I like when a girl wears a pearl necklace But only for the first 10 seconds or so. You know, before it's hard and crusty"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water?... You're gonna have to give me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by some chick."

"Watch out for the black ice outside of the bank. It'll rob you of your balance."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Belinda ! Belinda who ? Belinda church steeple !"

"""Let's walk over there"" ""ok"" -couple a cows"

"Found $12 bucks today! Well, it was in my daughters purse, but I figure she owes me at least $50,000 by now."

"A man got hit hard in the head with a bottle of 7up. He's alright though,it was a soft drink."

"I'll tell you something about my wife She absolutely loves ~~cunilungas~~ ~~cunnilengus~~ ~~cunnelinges~~ cunnilingus Sorry, I always have trouble getting my tongue around it"

"How does a Narcissist change a lightbulb? He holds it up to the socket and the world revolves around him."