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Joke of the Day
"Judging by their knives, the Swiss Army is mostly bartenders."
Next Joke
"Nothing says ""I've made poor life decisions"" like a couch in your front yard."
"HER: I don't know what you'd do without me. ME: HER: Please stop imagining all those things. ME: Ok."
"What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your girlfriend to blow your paycheck!"
"Mission Control: prepare to enter the vacuum of space Dog Astronaut: wait the what now"
"Can gorillas swim? No."
"Northern women have PMS Gals from the south have FTS. Fixin' to Start"
"Do you know what's fucking intense? Camping with your girlfriend."
"Having friends is like... Having friends is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel it's warmth!"
"I deleted all of the Germans off my phone. Its Hans-free."