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Joke of the Day

"Me: grandma have you ever tried Five Guys? Grandma: at once?! *in case you don't know, Five Guys is a burger joint*"

"The guest said to the cannibal Your wife makes a great soup. Yes, but I'll miss her."

"Just saw an old man in the park feeding the birds Wonder how long he'd been dead"

"What do you call a can after it completes college? A graduated cylinder."

"What do they call mosquitoes in Pakistan? Churchitoes"

"How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian? Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry."

"TIL Humans eat more bananas than monkeys. Human almost never eat monkeys at all."

"Why did the broken straw go to rehab? It had a serious drinking problem."

"Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly? A: A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito."

"A guy had 6.023*10^23 bruises in his body... Experts are saying he got molested."