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Joke of the Day

"What does a drunk police officer do? Protect and swerve."

"My ex DM'd me to say I'm acting creepy then unfollowed me. Luckily, I have his password so I just refollowed myself and told him he's wrong."

"my wife can find a stain on my shirt from across the room but can't see the mailbox when she's backing up?"

"The worst part about eating at Outback is when I don't finish my steak and they hang my picture on the 'Wall of Faggots'."

"At first I wasn't sure about my beard But it's growing on me"

"[at Victoria's Secret] *folding panties on table* ""Sir, where are the fitting rooms?"" Oh, I don't work here. *continues folding panties*"

"What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle ? A polo bear !"

"What's the difference between pudding pops and bill Cosbys dick? It's consensual when people eat pudding pops."

"The mighty god rode his valiand steed atop the highest mountain.. ... raised his hammer high, and declared ''I am Thor!''. To which his horse replied: ''Because you forgot your thaddle, thilly.''"

"I'll get you wetter than a Scottish summer."