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Joke of the Day

"Helpful hint: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off."

"Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me. *Tambourine Man shakes tambourine for several minutes* Well that sucked."

"I'm at my most Ninja Turtle when I remove a manhole cover & jump into the sewers to avoid making eye contact with someone I know in public."

"Why did the blonde run with her bike? Because it was going to fast for her to get on."

"What's a Warboy's from Mad Max's favourite web browser? Chrome"

"My close friend lost much of his life savings due to his Galaxy S5 Fingerprint Scanner being hacked and when he told me the story it brought me to tears. I guess you could say it was pretty touching."

"Why do flamingos stand on one leg? Because if they stood on no legs, they would fall over!"

"Women's underwear is a great example of how you can make something half-assed and it still become very successful Thought of this in traffic yesterday"

"What is the difference between the deflate gate controversy and my wife? Only one shows an interest in the balls."

"I opened a sperm bank in London recently... We had a disastrous first day. Only two clients. One came on the bus; the other one missed the tube."