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Joke of the Day

"I'm at my most Ninja Turtle when I remove a manhole cover & jump into the sewers to avoid making eye contact with someone I know in public."

"Policeman:""Sir, we have sufficient evidence to believe that this vehicle has been stolen. Me: how Policeman: Step out of the tank Sir"

"How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? you knock on the door."

"GOD: That's the last of the animals. Now add warning colors to the poison ones ANGEL: Will do GOD: But not all of them, keep some surprises"

"Me: Just a glass of water Scientist waiter: You mean a glass of... yourself? You see, the body is made up of ok ok sit down I'll bring it"

"I'm in a very serious relationship we never laugh."

"There are 10 types of people in this world.... Those who understand Binary numbers, and those who don't."

"16 and pregnant should be followed by 26 and sucking c**k for crack."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy."

"Muhammad Ali recently died, but look at the bright side: At least he isn't shaking anymore."