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Joke of the Day

"What kind of cars do rabbits drive? Hop rods."

"[date] Me: Have you ever had it so deep your toes curl? Her: No, I'd love that Me: [pulls out 15th century poetry book] get ready Her: um"

"What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg ? The bombshell !"

"There's three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't. Which one are you??"

"Saw my neighbor jogging at 1 am. ""It's a little late for you isn't it?"" I said. ""I couldn't sleep,"" he replied. ""That's not what I meant you fat fuck."""

"Sometimes when i don't want my wife to find something I Put it in her purse"

"Seems like everybody is wishing to find that special someone in their life, and I'm just over here wishing I could eat without getting fat"

"The most attractive thing about you is your gravity."

"Where do frogs leave their hats and coats ? In the croakroom !"

"911: What's your emergency? Me: Whatcha dooooin'? 911: Sir, are you in danger? Me: *giggles* You're always so worried, but I'm fine, silly"