162212

Joke of the Day

"Ahh Summer. The season for confusing unattractive girls with hot girls because of oversized sunglasses."

"""Hit me,"" said the masochist. ""No,"" said the sadist"

"A 7 y/o asks his mom at the dinner table... ""Mom?"" ""Yes, honey?"" ""I can be whatever I want to be right?"" ""Yes, dear."" ""Then can I be a carnivore?"" ""...Eat your vegetables."""

"I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power."

"First Michael Jackson, and now Neil Armstrong.... The world is running out of moonwalkers"

"Q: Why do ducks look so sad? A: Because when they preen their feathers, they look down in the mouth."

"What do you call Christopher Walken when he is sitting? Christopher Sitten"

"PS4/Xbox joke Oh no! Playstation and xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U"

"Every now and then, getting lost means finding your way."

"Q: You're sailing on a boat with a pack of cigarettes, but do not have a fire source, what do? A: Throw one overboard to make the boat a cigarette lighter."