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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry I put a collar on your baby. I thought it was a Pug."

"I came out of the gym the other day and someone asked me, ""How have you got that body?"" I said, ""I don't know officer, I just opened the boot and there she was."""

"A guy laughed at me because I only have a 19"" TV. I suggested we not laugh about how many inches things are. That shut him up."

"What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of co-ordination? HAND-EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

"Why didn't Edward get on the plane? Cause it was snowed-in."

"Knock knock Whos there? G.I JOE!!!"

"A man walks into a zoo... But there is only a dog. It's a shih tzu."

"Listen. You can keep retaking all the pictures you want, but that's what your face looks like."

"[meeting] Bill: we'll call it BILLOSOPHY Phil [pulling out briefcase and assembling gun]: Good idea! Steal my board idea now this? Not again"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't, they just shoot the room for being black. I guess you could say that was dark humor? ;)"