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Joke of the Day

"[doing crossword] Me: I'm looking for a word that means slight pause Her: Hiatus? Me: *erasing 'our sex life'* thanks"

"love is like a fart If you have to to force it, it's probably shit."

"I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected."

"What's the difference between the mailman and the priest? The mailman doesn't come on Sunday."

"[Enters Building] ""Excuse..."" *Voice fades* ""... anyone..."" ""... how to..."" ""... out this..."" ""... ving door?"""

"How do you make a cat bark? Soak it in lighter fluid, throw a match on it. Woof!"

"People think I have really bad road rage. In reality I'm just really horny."

"LPT: Laminate your index cards when studying. Not only does it prevent smearing, but the teardrops actually roll right off."

"Medication for depression ""may cause thoughts of suicide"". If this were so for all meds then: Diet Pills..may cause ravenous hunger"

"I had sex twice in 24hours and I'm so glad that I have 4000 people to brag about it to"