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Joke of the Day

"LPT: Laminate your index cards when studying. Not only does it prevent smearing, but the teardrops actually roll right off."

"Britain's got pretty racist since the referendum; I was behind a Latvian couple in Tesco yesterday and the lady behind the checkout asked if they wanted any help packing..."

"I just got a tattoo of Ben Franklin on my dick Because my girlfriend knows how to blow a hundred bucks. (for our non-American friends, Ben Franklin's face is on the US $100 bill)"

"Oh no! An Xbox One and PS4 just had a head on collision... CALL AN AMBULANCE! WiiU WiiU WiiU WiiU WiiU"

"Pharmacies could save a lot of hassle and just have customers walk through a denim detector to see if they're cooking meth."

"How is an accordion like an artillery shell? Once you hear it, it's already too late."

"It's amazing how incredibly urgent emails become not urgent at all if you just wait long enough."

"Today I saw a rock group, but none of the 4 members sang Mount Rushmore was kinda disappointing"

"I like my coffee like I like my men Black and shot twice"

"I like having conversations on elevators because you know there's a time limit."