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Joke of the Day

"Me: Got my finger stuck in this beer bottle. Wife: How?! M: Just help me. W: Have you tried butter? M: It's delicious. Now will you help me?"

"Two fish are in a tank One of them says ""Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"What to you call a russian with 3 Bollocks? Hudyaget Dat-Bollocov"

"So a magician turns into a parking lot"

"A Rabbi, a lawyer, and a Priest are on a sinking ship. The Rabbi says, ""Save the children!"" The lawyer says ""Fuck the children!"" ... The Priest says, ""Do we have time?"""

"What's Brown and Sticky? A stick!"

"What is the direct competitor for Dungeons and Dragons? Helmets and Spades. Tee hee."

"What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi"

"How is being a pimp like being a farmer? You get some hoes and they get dough for you."

"Turns out, humans aren't the only ones who have trouble with homonyms. My dog keeps saying ""rough"" instead of ""ruff""."