162011

Joke of the Day

"*stood on Eiffel tower watching a beautiful sunset* Sara? *Gets down on one knee* *audible gasp* ""Yes?"" Help my knee is made of magnets"

"My wife told me I needed to slow down on the alcohol... ...or better yet, stop driving altogether."

"You know what I find odd? Every other number"

"What is a pirates favorite letter? You think it'd be R, but his true love is the C."

"Thanks to ChristianMingle, I met the woman I will put through a terrifying emotional rollercoaster before I finally come out of the closet."

"Hi, welcome to Necrophiliac Club. Who wants a cold one?"

"when super mario bros. was released in russia it was much less popular under the title ""you are toilet man fight turtle monster"""

"What is the national bird of Afghanistan? The Boeing 757"

"I was in a good mood when suddenly twitter went down & I ran over a blind man, tasered a baby, killed a puppy & set myself on fire."

"Thank God you've updated your status to ""Finished lunch"" after you first posted ""Going to lunch"" I really couldn't tolerate more suspense."