161963

Joke of the Day

"How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel? No ballroom"

"I dropped my phone, is everyone okay?!"

"I'm flying to NYC today and I don't care what the flight attendant says, I will be using my seat cushion as a fartation device."

"Amsterdam, 26 October1942, about tea time. Mr Frank - ""Shhhh Quiet everybody ... the Germans are coming"". Anne Frank - ""I am too"""

"boys need to work on keeping their Instagram up to date with good pics. I can't show my mom some pic of a fish you caught 120 weeks ago"

"Which country has the highest number of foolish people? Hungary. Stay Hungary, Stay Foolish"

"I'm going to walk up to strangers and ask ""Would you take a photo of me?"" If they say yes, I will hand them a photo of me and walk away."

"INTERVIEWER: What do you see as your biggest weakness? ME: INTERVIEWER: ME: MY MOTHER: He's not good at speaking up for himself"

"I was at the beach and the lifeguard blew his whistle at me. Dude, I'm 40. I'm not listening to a teenager in a bathing suit."

"You should never yell ""Fire!"" in a crowded theater The gunman will shoot when he's ready, it isn't polite to rush him"