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Joke of the Day

"boys need to work on keeping their Instagram up to date with good pics. I can't show my mom some pic of a fish you caught 120 weeks ago"

"what do you say about a high mountain? its pretty stoned"

"me: Hi it is nice to meet u. I am Jeff date: Are u reading off notecards M: Yes sex at ur place sounds gr-wait crap these are out of order"

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because his wife is dead."

"I've got my own lie detector at home. I call her ""honey"".....:)"

"I love subtraction sums so much... ...I won't let anyone take it away from me."

"how do you know asians have broken into your home? the dog is gone, the homework is done and they're still trying to get out of the driveway"

"you must be irish because my penis is dublin"

"Which sex position produces the ugliest children? I don't know, ask your mum."

"Knock knock knock KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Hurry up Bobbi Kristina, I have to use the bathroom!"