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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: I can't believe my wife left me. I should of treated her better. Me *should have"

"My daughter teaches me something every day. Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes"

"my friends are getting married and i'm here wondering what the diff between a soft taco and a burrito and if i should get both for dinner"

"What do you call Jewish folk from New Jersey? Orange juice."

"I dont know why its called kidnapping, Ive never got one of those little bastards to fall asleep"

"On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker."

"My grandmother laughed when I said I was gonna build a car out of spaghetti. She wasn't laughing when I drove pasta."

"Rome wasn't built in a day. But part of it was."

"Just had a very embarrassing misunderstanding with my new Irish girlfriend. Turns out she just wanted me to take her in the Yaris."

"How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Feminists can't change anything."