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Joke of the Day

"How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite? Namaste home tonight."

"My friend hasn't had a bite all day. So I bit him."

"What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you? You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed."

"Mike Tyson wrecked a ship once... who wouldda thunk it?"

"I want negative calorie credit for all the junk food I pass up. Didn't eat that cookie? That's -150 calories."

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the hell out of the dog."

"There's a hotel with no bathrooms Its called the Holdinit Inn"

"What is grey, very big and when it falls out of a tree the stove breaks? The stove."

"Darwin is a genius. Just realized I'm attracted to women in glasses because I'm more likely to reproduce with a woman who can't see me well."

"One day I'll pretend to be gay. I'll make lots of female friends, gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expected...BAAM!!! I'll fuck their boyfriends"