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Joke of the Day

"They needed three Back to the Future movies so they could cover life's three great concerns: one's birth, one's future legacy, and cowboy"

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"If you can only be good at one thing, be good at cheating... Because if you're good at cheating, you're good at everything."
"Nurse: You need to eat or you can't have your pain meds. Me: Do the thing. Nurse: Me: Nurse: *holding fork* [sigh]*makes airplane noise*"
"What do you call an Asian woman who lives next to a data centre? Ping Lo."
"Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5 and 6 come before 1, 2 and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."
"What did the customer say to the overworked seamstress? Wow, you seamstressed out. (I'm so sorry)"
"My father was a nun... Whenever he was in court and the occupation was called for, he would say ""nun."""
"""Waiter!"" shouted the furious diner ""How dare you serve me this! There's a damn TWIG in my soup!"" ""My apologies"" said the waiter. ""I'll inform the branch manager."""
"livin la vida broka"
"How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan? Take away their little brooms!"
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