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Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people... It needs more work."

"What does a cow say in the winter? I'm udderly freezing!"

"I would like to have submitted that joke about UDP here but I don't think you would get it."

"[Ouija board in Starbucks] ""Speak to me spirits"" O M G H A V E U S E E N W H A T K R I S T Y I S W E A R I N G G R O S S"

"What's brown and sticky? Seriously. Guess."

"If you never say ""FUCK IT"" before posting a tweet then you definitely couldn't have tweeted this..."

"If you have sex on a boat... ...is that off-shore drilling?"

"Whats the difference between a dog and a fox? About 8 pints"

"What's a Latino pornstar's favorite flavor profile? Umami. (Ooooooooh, mami.)"

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants... The bartender looks over and says, ""Get the fuck out of my bar, we're sick of hearing this goddamn joke."""