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Joke of the Day

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have given the cat her own checking account."

"As I've gotten older, every time I look in the mirror I see my dad more and more. I guess its time to move out, its starting to get weird."

"A unicorn without testicles is called a eunuchorn"

"What's a pirate's favorite amino acid? Aaaaaaaarrrrrginine...."

"How do you guys tweet from the toilet? I poop with both hands."

"JOSH: Hey dad DAD: Oh my god is your name still Josh JOSH: Um yeah DAD: We're changing it JOSH: No please don- DAD: It's done ERIC: What the"

"When someone says something is great, I take that as a personal challenge to not enjoy it."

"A Weed Whacker is not as sexy as it sounds"

"A pothead, a rapist and a dog killer walk into a bar. The Steelers must be in town."

"This one time, I got kicked out of the audience of ""Cats"" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer."