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Joke of the Day

"A unicorn without testicles is called a eunuchorn"

"Asking someone out is so unpredictable. You never know exactly how they're going to say no."

"I was pondering life with the cat wizard... Then he said something that gave me paws."

"So Pepe is now an international hate symbol... FeelsBadMan."

"Take a chill pill? I had a friend overdose on chill pills you insensitive prick!"

"They've just released a female version of Viagra. It's called Niagara."

"If I have a son, he's going to be named Alvin Simon Theodore, and it'll be funny as hell whenever anyone gets mad and yells his full name."

"What do you call 2 medics? paramedics"

"In 2017, every TV show's marketing plan will be to add a Trump parody character so he's compelled to watch & cry on twitter about it."

"Wife: where's the baby? Me: up on the roof Wife: THE ROOF? Me: relax. He's got sunscreen on"