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Joke of the Day

"Those novelty New Years glasses look so stupid. So I wear glasses that say ""Yesterday"" because it makes me wise beyond my years."

"My girlfriend broke up with me for my obsession with touching pasta. I'm feeling cannelloni right now."

"What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common? If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose."

"Whats that over there? I don't know but i think i just got a raging clue"

"What branch of the military are horses in? The NaaaaayyyVY"

"Did you hear that Iowa State is now offering Agriculture courses? It's a growing field"

"Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre? Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Annabel ! Annabel who ? Annabel would be useful on this door !"

"When someone says ""I love you infinity plus one"" I immediately love them less because of their failure to grasp basic mathematical concepts."

"Horrible Crash ""Two pedestrians die in a horrible crash!"" Wow, they must've been walking pretty fucking fast."